Back on My Knees

Does this kid remind you of anyone?

He's a Ukrainian orphan boy who is available for hosting for a few weeks after Christmas. The hope is that he'll be adopted after visiting the United States. He's from the same orphanage as the orphan boy we met last summer. That boy will be joining his adoptive family this November, Lord willing. And we just found out that a couple from our church is pursuing adopting another boy from this orphanage who they hosted this summer. Very exciting!

Now, we're waiting and praying about whether we should host this boy, who has such an uncanny resemblance to our own son (with the idea that we may adopt him). Just yesterday, as the couple at church shared of their decision, Joy shared of how they anguished before the Lord over this decision, and how they didn't want to do it out of guilt, or obligation, or if the Lord were not it in. Just like Moses, we too do not want to proceed unless the LORD is with us, leading and guiding every step of the way. And we trust that if He is leading, then He will provide all that is needed. So I'm once again I'm back on my knees, challenged that I too need to prioritize time for anguishing before the Lord. And as I do so, I am totally relating to the lyrics of Sara Groves' song Hello Lord, from her Conversations CD (which I happened to be listening to when we were anguishing this summer about whether to adopt V.).

Hello Lord, it's me your child
I have a few things on my mind
Right now I'm faced with big decisions
And I'm wondering if you have a minute, cuz

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

I don't doubt your sovereignty
I doubt my own ability to
Hear what you're saying
And to do the right thing
And I desperately want to do the right thing

But right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I just can't hear you.

And somewhere in the back of my mind
I think you are telling me to wait
And though patience has never been mine
Lord, I will wait to hear from you

Oh Lord, I'm waiting on you

Right now I don't hear so well
And I was wondering if you could speak up
I know that you tore the veil
So I could sit with you in person
And hear what you're saying but
Right now, I think you're whispering

Once again, I covet your prayers; especially that if this is of the Lord, that God would make that clear to my husband. Thank you!

Grace and Peace,
Angel

The Story Behind the Pictures

The sun has been hiding from us lately, and it's been a very dreary autumn. One of my favorite fall scenes is a vibrantly colored tree against the clear, perfectly blue sky. So when I caught a peek of the sun this afternoon, I grabbed my camera and ran outside to try to capture my yellow tulip poplar against the blue sky before all its leaves are on the ground.


Then, I got the brilliant idea that we should head over to the closest park where the trees are more colorful. Of course, that was easier thought than accomplished. The next half hour was reminiscent of If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, except not nearly as sweet or endearing. Being the perfectionist that I am, everybody had to change into fallish colors and...

hunter green is great, but not with Boy Scout stuff written on the front, and

yes red, but no faded I Love You t-shirts, and

a short-sleeved plain red shirt is not acceptable either and

don't you have any blue jeans that fit you? and

Mom, all my tan pants are all dirty.

As if the clothes drama was not enough, we then began the hair drama. Because heaven forbid that anyone should have neatly brushed hair in the middle of the afternoon! The hair brushing led to lectures on the appropriate frequency of showers and even an impromptu hair cut for my son. Then there was much yelling and frustration over hair clips that are repeatedly borrowed and never returned. All the while, I'm hurrying and prodding everyone with much impatience as I don't want to miss this small window of time while the sun is shining.

We finally loaded into the van and headed to the park...

...where it was raining.

I wouldn't be deterred, so we began our photo shoot in the rain which bedraggled our hair. I don't know that bedraggled is a verb, but that's how our hair looked after standing in the sprinkling rain. Oh and windblown, because after all it is Indiana where it's windy in autumn. I knew that. So much for brushing!





I wish I could say that we had a fabulous time, and that my stepping backwards into a giant mud-puddle while trying to get just the right shot led to much mirth and merriment; but in all honesty, my son couldn't find his smile and fought tears of frustration while I told him to smile when he claimed he was already smiling. I could just see him cursing the day I ever got a fancy pants camera.


So over 350 pictures later, do you think I can be content with any of them. A few, I guess. Though, honestly, looking at the pictures is a little bittersweet after all the quarreling, drama, and whatnot. You should all be glad that I'm not your mom.




This was the best smile I could get from my son, and it came from telling him to think of Dallas Clark in the endzone. I asked him to keep the smile and lose the fists in the air, but then he lost the smile again.





There were some smiles and silliness from the younger two. It wasn't all bad. They're still young enough to forgive their mother's tirades and tantrums...for now.




By the way, this is my favorite sweater. I've had it for many years. It's pilling like crazy, and starting to shrink up, but I still love it.

In the end, I'm left contemplating it all; wishing I could chill out and not get so stressed over things like clothes, hair, barrettes, and photo shoots.


Grace and Peace,
Angel